SUPERSHOW!!!

Dear Whoever Makes Animal Crackers (I believe it’s “Mr. Nabisco” or something to that effect),

First off, let me say I’m a big fan of your cookies. I like to eat them on the way home from work, as the crunching sound drowns out the noise of my children.

Your cookies provide a bland, crunchy oasis from the struggles of modern parenthood.

While I appreciate what your company does in this regard, I feel a need to call you to task on the obvious leftist slant shown in the donkey to elephant ratio in your average lot (please see the sample photo posted above). At first I thought it must just be a coincidence, but after no less than 6 boxes a pattern emerged - it was clear donkeys outnumbered elephants 3 to 1 per suggested serving size.

What I find even more suspicious is why would a snack supposedly taking the shape of various circus animals include a donkey? What circus has a donkey in it? Sure, there’s that one in Tijuana my neighbor always tells me about, but I’ve got no interest in “shows” of that sort.

This is an election year Mr. Nabisco, and people are looking for their snacks to provide balanced coverage of the issues - not the liberal agenda of the coastal elites. For guidance, I would suggest you consult Lucky Charms - a tasty cereal that has provided a rainbow bridge between the orange moons, the green clovers, and the purple horseshoes.

It would behoove you to follow their example of inclusion and non-partisanship.

So, until I get that soundproof Plexiglas installed behind my seat, I’ll continue to eat your “crackers”, but I’ll take each bite with a grain of salt.

Also - what the hell is this?

Dan

There will be no Supershow this week in observance of American Thanksgiving (Supershow Canada will go on as scheduled). You can buy tickets for the December 4th show here.

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